frozen
in this quiet
stillness
captivated
by ure
state of grace
please
keep humming
to me
the history of how
this came to be
this
unexpected
immobility
that
entangles me
when ure near
me
oh
i can’t move
ure heart beating
against my cheek
ure sweet breath
tenderly weaving
thru my hair
it makes me
weak
to feel u there
beneath my face
so
still
is it possible
that i am flying
airborne
vibrating so fast
that the air around me
is tripping
exploding
stripping
these moments between us
into specks of dust
that land softly
about ure face
to linger
there
closer
as i long
to be
closer
immersed
absorbed
inhaled
adored
by ure bassoon like
voice
droning into my ears
until they bleed
with honeyed melody
i want
to sing
along
“our song”
to be heard
only by us
lines written by moonlite
pulsating with the tranquil
thoughts
of what
will be
come
sing
for me
my lashes will keep time
my fevered cheeks will shine
while ure faithful pulse
engulfs our
melodious
rhyme

with

such

delicious

music

i went to lick my wounds
& i noticed
they were gone
funny
i never thought i'd see the day
i'd be so
unaffected
by the thought of u
what would normally send me to bite my lip
doesn't send me
at all
these scabs are soft
paper thin
thin enuff to see thru
i know if i tear it away
there u'll be
all over again
with ure charms
all over again
those pearly whites
all over again
my fear would rise
all over again
so
i stare at this
new growth
nothing like the spine i wanted for xmas
but
i think i like it
almost like
a happy addition to the family
almost like
a welcomed friend to my home
almost like
the pain u caused never was
almost like
there were no other girls
almost like
ure kisses were real
almost like
i've let go of the lies
almost like
my sex wasn't wasted
almost like
i forgave ure abandonment
almost like
almost like
almost like
i'm bleeding
all
over
again

leave the money
on the table
u know
the way
out
i promise not to pout
when u finally
go
i know
u'll be back for more
with every passing day
with every small exchange
i root deeper
into u
embedded
into u
like some fabled thorn
to be sucked out of ure paw
with my generous mouth
that still tastes the salt
of ure body
funny
what
lingers behind
after the sweat
after the limbs are no longer entwined
with each other
maybe
some other
time
right now
u must leave
right now
i concede
not to follow u
home
ure passing fancies
are unpredictable
who knows if u'll ever call
who knows if u'll ever fall
into my embrace
again
"a friend"
no
i can't call u that
it sends
a mournful knot
into my stomach
at the thought of such
lies
we
improvised
each moment
prolific
with miscommunications
misinterpretations
of each other's
desires
inspired by loneliness
driven by need
we greedily feed
on each other's
hunger
no wonder
ure nauseous
no wonder
ure cautious
as fickle
as they come
as doubtful
as my tounge
which splits
in two
which speaks
to u
even after
my taste
has left
u

why the long
face
he never loved
u
trace back the mistakes
that keep u awake
all nite
& all signs point
to
u
ure wishing
& hiding
can not undo
the chiding
& suffering
u put ureself
thru
there is no going back
to
empty
what is this
foolish desire
to be wanted
what is this
innate fire
to be hunted
by wounded creatures
who
seek
ure
comfort
only to bite the hand
that feeds them
well
who are u
to judge
ure holding a grudge
for the very experience
u
created
be
sated
with being alone
elated
for having gone
the extra
mile
no one else would have gone
always the fool
stepping off the brink
happy to drink
whatever morsel
is offered
they use u
u know
they force u to go
out on a limb
then chop it down
for kindling
simple
child
follow the trail
of breadcrumbs
back to the nest
rest assured
even the crows
don't want u
now
u
are
free
to self destruct
free
to interrupt ure
piteous pleas
for his forgiveness
he's
not
listening
anymore

this little girl
back on her knees again
begging
for her demon's forgiveness
he made her believe
she was better
than them
then wiped his boots
& walked away
it would be blind vengeance
to blame him
for the fanciful dreams
of a whore
in a virgin gown
going
thru
the
motions
playing the part
she never asked for
wishing
she wasn't
so
good
at it
so wide open
she swallowed him
whole
& in her sorrow
she be wed
to herself again
be careful
what u wish for
be careful
who u'd die for
catch ure heart
before
it tumbles
out
of
ure
mouth

why did u
let me
why did u
tempt me
with
levity
& ure
easy going way
ure better at this game
than me
&
i wish
i never
played
i was swayed
to caress
ure ache
i was oblivious
that such
a mistake
would haunt me
still
tattered
hollowed
emptied
swallowed up
by this twister
i was
riding
& u knew it
all along
dirty
little
secret
u asked the questions
i answered w/ my body
u sought me out
of my cavern
of solitude
to
bleed
for
u
i wish
i never
met u
goddess knows
i never meant to
follow u into the desert
but ure eyes
were so sullen
ure laughter
so sudden
like the disaster
that followed
my
lonestar
back at camp
sending smoke signals
of agony
relating his tragedy
to some other
damsel
in
distress
i was dressed
to be bitten by u
it was easy
to be smitten by u
regardless or ure
warnings
the morning sun
sears my flesh
poisoned
by some
rattlesnake
i found
in my bed
though
he never liked
my shade
of red
his
hisses
still
linger

i hate me
cuz i'm beautiful
& all the boys
come into my lite
to die
irresistable
immeasurable
unstoppable
this lure i have for
kind words
& well wishes
warm thoughts
& calm whispers
about other girls
u'd rather be with
but
waste ure dreams on me
oh well
whatever it takes to be a part
a piece
a shadow
a stain
'ure spirit is too brite to hold onto'
now i understand
u just didn't want it
shining on u
'just work it out'
that's right
i'll work it out
in my own way
hiding in the trees
blowing kisses
outside ure window
i'll figure it out
in my own time
under the velvet sky
blowing bubbles
outside ure door
cuz the nite sees all my indiscretions
luna
always cradling me
crying for me
helpless
&
blue
she watches her
pixie child
slough off her skin
& expose her wings
to the flames
of his sun
i will scorch in the cinders
of ure days
&
by nite
she will revive me
rejuvenating my emptiness
dressing me
in her glowing lite
& i will wander
blindly thru
with softest hands
kindest words
biggest eyes
longest lashes
to touch ure heart
gently
before
u turn
away

the darkest
corners
of ure mind
i want to exist there
like a dirty secret
u can't bring ureself
to think about
@ the inhale
of ure deepest sigh
i want to come in
like a strong breeze
tears the petals from
dandelions
it gives me no greater
pain
than to think of u
except
to look at u
knowing
what I see behind ure eyes
is vacant
ure words
like wreckage
implode
cough up dust & mire
& iniquities
that u could never bear
this double
this doppelganger
which stand before me
is souless
wordless
blameless
for ure cowardice
i want to wrap my tounge around ure heart
& make it listen to me
hold u captive in a ray of lite
& make u speak truth to me
that sliver of emotion
that remains between us
is what i will send
for u
& it will crouch
alongside the walls
seep into ure saliva
whisper in ure sleep
until
u awake
& behold
ure own image
in the mirror
void eyes
filled
muddy tears
flowing
whole soul
soaring
high above the shell of ure body
ages beyond the present
to a place
where i sit
& await
ure return

how can i do
this
how can i be
this
deliberately mindless
spiritually spineless
empty
with u
the good times are killing me
this
casual dexterity
ure ample ability
to amputate
heart
from
hand
i don’t understand
how
to
do it
ure mastery
eludes me
the mystery
intrigues me
i know i want more
i know i see more
trouble down the road
if i continue this
vacant
rambling
scrambling out the door
before the truth precedes me
i need
to feel
real
& not
like a score
share my wit
share my time
share my dreams
my sublime necessity
to be adored
floored
by emotion
how do i sever
this thrill
that binds us
this lust
that blinds us
to the sunshine calling outside
i ride the passions
& take the rations
left by the door
only to ignore
my kinder self
I
WANT
ME
BACK
i can’t redact
my desire for u
i won’t deny
my wanting u
my mouth was true while kissing u
but
this ache
affords me
no happy mercy
for not being who i truly am
tender
generous
siren
temptress
& so much more
than u will ever
understand
our collision
was marvelous
but the time has come
to drink in the sun
adjust my seat
& trail the miles

between

u

&

me

tita
where are ure hands now
i can not find my own
i have tried
not to cry
but i can't crochet like u
knit one
purl two
the cold still rushes thru
the blanket is twelve years long
& strong enuff
to weather his wrongs
i need ure strength
i am
weeping into the batter
catering my sorrow
to a party of
one
the sun
seems so distant
a pigment in the sky
w/ no warmth to console me
there's no controlling
this
charcoal soot
swelling w/ in me
black rings
float
out of my mouth
@ the mention of his name
ashamed of me
how could he be
cruel to be kind
his mind scalds me
w/ his hatred
wretched claims
of deep emotions
aimed
to maim me
save me
a ball of yarn to spin a web
that will catch my grief
before it falls
@ his feet
i am steeped
in
the salt of my tears
seasoned in jeers
stewed in searing oil
& foiled attempts
to annoint myself
w/ honey & mirth
i serve
a succulent sadness
even i can't endure
i implore u
to guide my fingers
they linger
in my pockets
counting themselves over again
one
thru
ten
my needlework
hasn't worked
to cure me of this chill
his ill will has brought me
i need ure recipe
for weepy sentimentality
i will follow to the letter
in the hopes to unfetter
this woe
i will sew
& i will stitch
until my fingers bleed him
into my intricately
embroidered
facade

what else can I do
but stare at u
til my eyes ache
& my heart weeps
for everything u
just
won't
say
spread eagle
in the brush
whispering
to
the stars
never
have I met
a creature
so unattainable
to himself
solitude is where u hide
peeking out
from behind the blinds
coaxing u out
w/ honeyed lips
& sweet fingers
luring u in
w/ candied songs
& sugared dreams
i stand naked before u
does my lite
distress u
impress u
molest u
i attest to
wanting to
make it all better for u
but u just
won't let me in
u shield ureself
from my sun
but
how long will u
remain
detained
refrained from sharing
who u really are
a star is no place
for whispers to go
they already know
ure darkness has grown
blossomed into
a garden of grief
watered w/ fear
near misses
empty kisses
groping around
the shadows
for comfort
stumbling over ureslf
scraping ure knees
ignoring the pleas
of the voice inside
who
just
wants
to speak
before the vines
choke them
silent

u don't
really
have to love me
to put kisses on my eyes
i wouldn't hold u
any less
dear
ure candied lips
will still taste
as sweet to me
in my dreams
humor this childish heart
that bleeds for u
soaking the sheets
with hushed tones
that quiver thru the fibers
of my lily covered
spread
timeless nites
i have lied
smothered
filling this space
wearing this place
w/ whimpers
complaints
soft cries
& lullabyes
that are never meant to reach u
it's hopeless
really
this infatuation
& the correlations
i try to make
from heart to pen
i am
incapacitated
emaciated
deteriorated
by the awareness
u will
never
feel
the same
again
but
to know u
is to love u
is to have u
is to hold u
is to lust
is to wait
is to haunt
is to taunt
my heart w/
my own ill thoughts of all the different ways i
desire u
admire u
aspire to
shape shift
force shit
out of ure mouth
which may
or may not
be truth
oh
sweetest lies
i sympathize w/ others
like me
altering sanity
denying reality
seeking
just
one
word
to get thru the nite
b4 morning comes
to blister all hopes
of being more
than just
a
foolish
daydreamer

is this
reaching u
is this the only
avenue
i can go thru
to touch u
how horrible
this betrayal
to be given up
so easily
it freezes me
in places u once warmed
gentle flame
how could this be the way it ends
using scapegoats
in raincoats & muddy boots
to defile all feeling for me
well
hating u is just too easy
instead
i snuff out the candles
just like u taught me
purple
&
green
fused
lumps of wax
perhaps
they understand
what I can not see
empty handed
i entered this
heavy hearted
i centered this
insecurity on me
what
abhorrent insincerity
STOP
URE
EDITING
u demand my honesty
but refuse
to supply ure own
& it's just
NOT FAIR
i’m expected to settle
for thin air
well
been there
done that
but expected more from u
i release u
from all that u symbolized
i concede to
place coins
over my eyes
& bury alive this
heartache
please
forgive my
disorderly conduct
did i obstruct
ure view
w/ my adoration
pity
ure saccharine smile
&
artificial salutations
offer little consolation
from the humiliation
of loving
a dead
phone

watch me change
b4 ure very eyes
into this
creature
so despised
nothing up my sleeves
nothing in my palms
mumbling incantations
invoking songs
that will steal ure breath
til u see no wrong
in my innocent ways
i never warned u
about my eyes
i never told u
u would cry
@ the sight of me
cuz
i wanted to keep u
i wanted to teach u
how
to weep again
be weak again
& seek out the solitude that will hang u
i threw u over the brink
then poured a drink of ure blood
& drank
licking my lips
i must insist u are
devine
sublime
to believe in such a farce
as me
i should have turned u
from the poison
in my smile
but why deny myself the pleasure
of this game
what a shame
u never saw
ure part in it
u should have smelled me coming
& started running
into the abyss
that soothes u
so well
go dwell
in ure torment
it's been dormant
since u met me
it misses u
& wishes u would caress it
the way u stroked
my shoulders
my spoiled fruit
could never suit
ure ways
my radiant lite
could never bite
into u
that super glued armor
was too thick
for me
go
escape while u can
scrape if u can
my touch off of ure skin
i am evil
i am sin
& u'll never win
a moment's peace
beside me
heed me
before I blow it
& show u how
possible
loving me
can really
be

PUT
OUT
URE
LITE
stop trying to guide me
this journey
i have chosen
is mine
alone
u tempt me
w/ security
longevity
immunity
from having to be
me
but my love
is not
a savings bond
don’t lock me up
safe & tite
away from myself
& the nite
& all the possiblities
that await me
ure hypnotic suggestions
feed my obsessions
into believing this was the greatest time
i
never
had
becuz
the moonlite beckons me
the starlite harkens me
back to that
place where i abandoned myself
for u
NOW
I
CHOOSE
to drown myself
in deeper eyes
to seek the unknowable
beyond the skies
this thirst
this hunger
will not subside
with the quiet stains
u leave on ure pillow
at nite
I WANT TO TASTE THE WORLD
& listen to it sigh
to be held
adored
caressed
undressed
w/ no further warranty
no fraudulent guarantee
come the morning
that anything
will last forever
a
kiss
is
still
a
kiss
shared at midnite
revered by dawn
w/ no promises
no longings
no compromises
to share a lifetime
trapped
in
someone else's shadow
i’m not looking for
”forevers”
& his picture in my
locket
i
promise
nothing
&
look forward to the
”moments”
& polaroids in my
back pocket

wrapped
gently
in the velvet cape
of midnite
swooning
marvelously
@ the coo of ure voice
i had no choice but to fall
helpless
guileless
to stop ure tender words from
floating
amidst the ocean
of kisses
sweetest embrace
ravenous chase
to delve deeper into my eyes
let my guise
speak for itself
frozen
between
the dashboard
& ure tears
intense
immense
& wide
these lies
we tell ourselves
that all
will
be
fine
come
the
morning
oh
let me kiss ure temple
as i lean into ure lite
i can not fight
this
longing
to melt into
the best of myself
to show u the safety
u will find
in my arms
i am
lit
a match
embers
burning
sparked by
the timber of ure voice
awakened by
the need to hoist myself up
rearranging my hair
as I dare
to step back
into
the routine of
me
some enchanted evenings
extinguish come the dawn
but
my lips still vibrate
from ure delicate hums
such music
such melody
such richness
such energy
who could have
imagined
u would have
such
smart
hands

i can not
speak
w/ ure eyes burning
that way
incinerating
all hope
& possibilty
between
u & me
i stand
brooding
in my unshakable cloud
of patchouli & guilt
wilting
my petals beneath
ure scorching brow
i
bow
to ure kindess
i
bend
to ure softness
swayed by the way
u say my
name
why don’t u speak
more goodness to me
sweetest friend
w/ the compassionate
soul
searching it deeply
for the meaning
of this
intrusion of ure space
my face
was made
to lay
beside ure own
look
at these lips
parted
thwarted
smarted
from uttering amiable lies
like butterflies
rising from their hidden places
fanciful traces
of what i don’twant u to know
honesty is thebest policy for
turning myself
inside out
heart strings
exposed for the binding
but
ure glare is blinding
me
from feeling u
w/ eyes lowered
i will abstain from furthering
this senseless pain
i have caused u
blame it on this drink
our
bubbly concoction
of time & desire
which has kept me
drunk
spilling kisses
all over
myself

it simply won’t die
this feeling inside
for u
i pray for the strength
to let u go
but u’ve still got a hold
on my innermost “something”
that I can’t shut down
i lie
& say ure in the past
i lie
& say i’m happy @ last
but i’m haunted
i am possessed
i am distraught
i confess
my sins to the world
the pains of a girl
who loves her sorrow
who can’t move on
who fears tomorrow
she will be a distant memory
or have u already forgotten me
disabled by frigidity
this violent lucidity
has overtaken me
shaken me
torn @ me
it eats @ me
what else is there to do
but remain in the past
with u
if i dare u to
will u join me
purloin my memories
until i am left with a vacancy
a gaping hole big enuff
for me to hide
& never be heard from again
i wish i could touch u
i wish u wanted me to
but i am dead to u
a mistake to u
a defect u conquered
& managed to escape
from
if only u could hide
then maybe
the anguish would subside
but ure entity
is locked on me
it breathes in me
honed in on me
but it had to be
to survive
a thing
as deep as me
my caramel flavored thoughts
the darkest chocolate u ever bought
& stashed away
for another day
too strong to handle
the bittersweetness of the truth of us
wrapped up
in the silver lining
of my wishing cloud

listen thru the static
in ure head
clear those thoughts
that lock
me out
come out
from inside ure lead house
put ure mind down
for a minute
&
listen
hold ure breath
&
listen
the mindless drone
the numbing buzz
u call it focus
i call it fear
so
driven
to look beyond the horizon
that u neglect the very sun
that creates it for u
keep moving
maybe it won’t catch u
keep busy
maybe it won’t spot u
that dirty
four lettered word
that keeps ure torch lit for her
do ure eyes
still see her smile
do ure hands
remember her skin
it was a sin
she was so perfect for u
& now solitude has u
all to itself
do u mourn her
or wish her
maybe ure heart’s
too scared to tell
maybe ure mind’s
too full to decide
it’s never a waste
it’s never too late
love
will
find
u
don’t u see
i will sail the seas
of “maybe’s”
& weather the storms
of “should’ves”
to find her
for u
extinguish my lite
relinquish my fight
to find her
for u
i will sit on my hands
for u
spit idle chatter
at u
warm her seat
next to u
swallow my desires
for u
be a substitute
for u
until she returns
for u
then i will rise
for u
& disappear

for

me

i
can’t
catch
my
breath
ure fingertips map my body
& trail their heat behind them
like comets burn
across the sky
i cry
not to be let go
alone
in the darkened sky
&
u hear me
&
shine on me
&
allow me to glow
the way i know
is best for me
please
enter me
gently
this ragged vessle
curls
tenderly
under ure command
my teacher
my tutor
my hands
can’t bear another touch
they
kindle
w/ ure nimble words
& streak soot
across ure lips
dismiss
the daylite &
bid the raven tresses
of my mother
to fill the sky
& no longer deny me
ure eyes
how i die
without ure embrace
how i crave
to taste
the happiness u promise
but fear
makes me quick
devising clever tricks to keep u @ bay
away
from the talk of what the future
may have in store
i want more
than is possible
more than is plausible
to blame on u
if only i never wanted to
be w/ u
seeing me thru
the tears in ure eyes
i have no will
no strength
to lie
fresh out of alibies
to rescue me from this
feeling
that i have
no control
over the rapid boil
my blood
has risen to
hot w/ the knowing
that in
ure
mouth
i will burst
& cease
to be

the tears in my coffee
have soured the cream
i stir the dream
of ure embrace
clockwise
time
dies
slowly
for me
perverting these
impossibilities
into hopeless longings
standing alone
i am left to atone
for my transgressions
trying to swallow
my obsessions for u
in every gulp of
air
i
dared to
tried to
hide u
away from the pain
i remain
sworn to
the need to
hold u againt
his rancid sweetness
curdles in my mouth
along w/ the shape of ure name
how to tame
the demons w/ in me
they say u used me
they say u duped me
into believing
i meant something more
& all the while
this hazelnut smile
& semi sweet mocha chai
boils in my mouth
like a lie
stinging my tongue
my ears have rung
w/ ure frothy exhalations
ure palpitations
pressed
against
my rib bones
no chocolate scones
to absolve me now
the sickly sweet
revolts me now
& how
this starbucks
love struck
wonder guy
puckered up & said goodbye
before
the water
even
boiled
the puddle on the floor
used to have a name
he’ll never utter again
how did i offend him
by trying to blend into
his horizon
i hold myself
up to myself
scrutinizing
memorizing
the lines in my smile
he’ll never
really
see

undulations
uncontrollable
gripping into the seat of this
roller coaster
i bolster my face against ure chest
to rest from asphyxiation
amazing
what..
amazing
was it u that I channeled into that
multi colored wish
rock
paper
scissors
heart
on a dish
steaming
teeming
beaming
idolatry
into my very lap
i am queasy in ure
gentle radiance
how can i eat this
how can i indulge in this
cuisine that bleeds
ure very being
mmmm..
i have
never
felt
so
satisfied

i aim to please
just tell me who to be
down on my knees
i can mold myself
into everything
u want
speak to me gently
& watch me melt
right thru u
soak
ure
soul
thru
with whoever u want
to see before u
bend me
fashion me
wear me
thinner
slimmer
quieter
tell me how
to shroud myself
into her
likeness
ure heart will never listen
to the curve of my hips
ure pulse will never soar
to the curl of my lips
even though
i twinkle
brighter
harder
hotter
farther
than any star
u've ever know
i've overgrown
this flower bed
& dread
the beaten path before me
afraid
if i blink
u'll be gone
so
i saunter
seduce
entrap
reduce myself
perhaps
to bear no fruit from ure tree
but
oh
to lie beneath ure shade
@ the stroke of midnite
when the magick fades
where I can
slowly

slip

into

myself

again

can u smell my heartache?
does it read like cancer?
is my aura dimmed
lacking
smacking of contempt
& regrets & things to remember
threading my faults
like pearls on a string
bring me back toward the lite
the happy
the carefree
when ure mess didn’t bother me
when it didn’t swallow me
when i didn’t wallow
in his misery
surrounding me
hounding me like
a killer on the run
the last song’s been sung
too many times
already
steady ure knees
ure finally free
the thing u’ve wanted most of all
SAVE ME THE REQUIEM
the dramatic ‘last call’
we’ve stalled this enuff
the going’s been rough
& it’s only getting tougher
u’ve suffered enuff
no more
complications
expectations
variations of the rules
raising the bar
that’s risen as far as it’s willing to go
LET GO
just go
off into ure tomorrow
ure mossy better place
be free
of me
& my lunacy
u see?
it’s already better
the air is sweeter
the sleep is deeper
or is it just me?
don’t tangle me
in fantasies
& intricate weaves
of possibilities
ure impotent earth leaves
no room for flowers
the hours have been lost
& the cost
was
me
REST
EASY
NOW

if this was meant to be
then it was meant to be

over

i burned ure card
to keep me warm
the rising smoke
snaked
all around me
lingering
ghosts of an emotion
u signed it
-L.
-O.
-V.
-E.
i guess i took it
personally
i jumped thru imaginary hoops
i walked thru burning waters
i bled thru empty palms
envisioned stigmata
for the sake of making u
feel
anything
tied u up
in my own despair &
surged
viciously
thru ure veins
they used to call me dangerous
every maladjusted guy’s
dream girl
every normal man’s
mistake
they used to call me
dangerous
now
they don’t call me @all
sitting high
above the wreckage
in my crown of thorns
willing u to call me
thru my thoughts
rehearsing
all of my apologies
for being what i thought
u wanted me to be
i
misunderstood
misheard
misspoke
misplaced
my
match book
again

my heart is heavy
w/ thoughts of
us
our gentle rapport
is no longer
contented
i am
lamented & frayed
betrayed
by my own affections
afflictions i xpected to be lifted from
i want
release from the anxieties
freedom from the atrocities
i created
Where is my clemency
even now i feign comfort @ ure words
slurred & marred
my vision is scarred from crying to
NO ONE
i knew u wouldn’t come
i knew u couldn’t sum up
my angst would equal this
suffering
hovering above myself
in velvet blackness
i
loathe
being
loved
clawing at ure tattoo
tearing away this taboo stained smile from my lips
my hips are left sore & bruised
from want of u
WOE
IS
ME
i can not flee from me
& my pathetic torrents
of shame
i blame
myself
& my poetry
my heart
& my frailty
to think my head could rest easily
upon ure
chest
i am vexed w/ being merely a reed
bending to please
aiming to ease
what ails u
i go thru the motions
give u the notion that i am
impenetrable
unfathomable
that
i
could be
so weak
so silent
so meek
so violently awkward in my skin
strangled beneath the covers
reeking of bygone lovers
i lie awake
fighting between
fact & fiction
& the friction is stinging me
my mind is killing me
just
let me
bleed alone
keep ure psyche away from me
ure programmed touches
are leaving me
raw

close enuff
to smell
ure indifference
my
sweetest
obsession
i ignite
@ the sound of ure voice
i am torched
weakened
bent
destroyed
left
barren
by ure coolness
or
cowardice
my fascination
draws contemplation
of what
exactly
makes u tick
& why my clock
must tock
like ures
w/ the scores of guys out there
i sit here &
wonder
u
drink u
dance u
dream u
wish u
would fall under the spell
of the moon
& tune into ureself
& drop ure skin
on the way into my arms
but
ure fangs are poised
ure venom armed
to strike me in the heart
if I
ever
speak truth
again
so
i
lick my wounds
bandage my scars
murmur my dreams
to familiar stars
& allow my mind
to wander the skies
while my heavy heart
quietly
sighs
under the needle
where i lie
stretched
branding ure image
onto
my flesh