it simply won’t die
this feeling inside
for u
i pray for the strength
to let u go
but u’ve still got a hold
on my innermost “something”
that I can’t shut down
i lie
& say ure in the past
i lie
& say i’m happy @ last
but i’m haunted
i am possessed
i am distraught
i confess
my sins to the world
the pains of a girl
who loves her sorrow
who can’t move on
who fears tomorrow
she will be a distant memory
or have u already forgotten me
disabled by frigidity
this violent lucidity
has overtaken me
shaken me
torn @ me
it eats @ me
what else is there to do
but remain in the past
with u
if i dare u to
will u join me
purloin my memories
until i am left with a vacancy
a gaping hole big enuff
for me to hide
& never be heard from again
i wish i could touch u
i wish u wanted me to
but i am dead to u
a mistake to u
a defect u conquered
& managed to escape
from
if only u could hide
then maybe
the anguish would subside
but ure entity
is locked on me
it breathes in me
honed in on me
but it had to be
to survive
a thing
as deep as me
my caramel flavored thoughts
the darkest chocolate u ever bought
& stashed away
for another day
too strong to handle
the bittersweetness of the truth of us
wrapped up
in the silver lining
of my wishing cloud