my heart is heavy
w/ thoughts of
us
our gentle rapport
is no longer
contented
i am
lamented & frayed
betrayed
by my own affections
afflictions i xpected to be lifted from
i want
release from the anxieties
freedom from the atrocities
i created
Where is my clemency
even now i feign comfort @ ure words
slurred & marred
my vision is scarred from crying to
NO ONE
i knew u wouldn’t come
i knew u couldn’t sum up
my angst would equal this
suffering
hovering above myself
in velvet blackness
i
loathe
being
loved
clawing at ure tattoo
tearing away this taboo stained smile from my lips
my hips are left sore & bruised
from want of u
WOE
IS
ME
i can not flee from me
& my pathetic torrents
of shame
i blame
myself
& my poetry
my heart
& my frailty
to think my head could rest easily
upon ure
chest
i am vexed w/ being merely a reed
bending to please
aiming to ease
what ails u
i go thru the motions
give u the notion that i am
impenetrable
unfathomable
that
i
could be
so weak
so silent
so meek
so violently awkward in my skin
strangled beneath the covers
reeking of bygone lovers
i lie awake
fighting between
fact & fiction
& the friction is stinging me
my mind is killing me
just
let me
bleed alone
keep ure psyche away from me
ure programmed touches
are leaving me
raw