the
wild haired
woman
child
who
kissed the
boys
& made
a pile
of broken
spirits
&
empty
dreams
strung
w/ opals
&
velveteen
draped upon
her naked
back
to soothe her
ache
& heal the
lack
of dedicated
honorable
men
who break
in her wake
before she
counts
"ten"

tounge
tied
terrified
mystified
that u
ever tried
to understand me
at
all
I
HAVE
NO
ANSWERS
i speak
no lies
i can
only cry
within myself
for mercy
do u think
this is easy
i’m sick
i’m queasy
i’m weak
i’m easily
fooled
trampled
wooed
all in
one
breath
GO AWAY
& take ure
distrust
with
u
i can’t convince u
otherwise
i can’t succinctly
surmise
the surprise I felt
when u came

then

left

so
leave me
again
with my shame
my bewilderment
my fame
in being
an overzealous
creature
too
wild
to
pursue
i
mangled my
good intentions
with
misconceptions
of what u
should
& should not
feel
burdened u
w/ foolish ambitions
tedious situations
superfluous
intimidations
all
for
want
of being
MORE
i wanted to be
more
than therapy
more
than coffee
more
than happenstance
more
than circumstance
more
than habit
more
than a tease
i wanted
u
to think
i was
much
MUCH
more
than just

me

i am
swollen
with fear
eyes bulging
understanding
that i
do not
understand
at all
i bawl
w/ out warning
forlorned
swarming
this darkness
buzzing around me
disrepaired
emotions
gathering
like dust in the cracks
of my mind
i awake
beneath the weight
of my thoughts
rank
like spoiled meat
i greet my sadness
wordlessly
oh
tell me more
about ure eyes
but
STOP
SEARCHING
MINE
i’m afraid
of what u’ll find
just let me cry
until the poison
bleeds
out
of me
bruised
shades
of
anguish
welling up
inside
of me
these
ancient
amalgamated distresses
depressing me so
stressing me so
that ure memory blinds me
ure tenderness pains me
like a delicate wound
i ache to soothe
to no avail
i wail
inside myself
howling
to the bluest moon
seeking refuge
in our
forgotten
place
cloaked in silence
i wade thru my darkness
quietly
come
sit by me
& let’s ease the suffer
of endless nite
thru our
imagined
embrace