this space
round my waist
has a vacancy
now
the time
is mine
alone
to roam the landscapes
of my mind
w/out
a safety line
to
stand
in the rain
baptized
tears streaming
body leaning
into the invisible arms of
destiny
warming me
warning me
against
over analytical inventions
post hypnotic suggestions
i will not harken to
i will not weaken to
i will not succumb to
becoming numb
I THRIVE
on being
alive
FEELING
thru these
memories
they are
a part of me now
Zen to me now
i wish
i could
show u how
not to
tuck them away
into ure secret place
where the echoes go
don't
hide them away
where the bruises go
deep inside
where the darkness contorts
the 'now'
with
the 'long ago'
i know
i made u go there
i know
i made u show where
u still
bleed
eternally
i broke ure laws
against digging deep
i made u raw
& made u steep
in
endless talks
&
passionate chances
&
blissful nites
&
fevered glances
&
wishes
that u never touched me
at all
i fall
our electricity spent
intentions well meant
wondering where
all the time went
i lie
dazed
by the collision
&
somehow
have risen
scarcely
strong enuff
to kiss
u
goodbye

a
stretched
canvas
i lie before u
free this
tortured soul that hides
within me
ochre
umber
verdigris
stroke the meaning
of my silence
across this
empty space
i scream
i bleed
i teem with
sickness
this
stinking richness
destroys me
a sullen salve
of
forget-me-nots
poisons me
&
sends to rot
my most beautiful
memories
grind
ure
palette
anew
glistening minerals
laid out for u
pulverize
this
melancholy
that
swallows me
in
hopeless blackness
suffering
in
velvet darkness
when u go
away

COME

dress
this
gorgeous
sadness
open this gift
tear
at my seams
free me
as an oyster
releases its
pearl
see me
deep inside
a scared little
girl
afraid
it’s
written
all over
her face
a
love
letter
written in sighs
for ure eyes
only
i
shimmer
in sparkling
disaster
a muse
awaiting the hand
of a loving
master
to
sculpt
her
joyful
again

ure mind is racing
faster
than the speed
of
feel
surrounded
by thoughts
theories of others
who squeeze life
DEAD
in their
analytical grasps
I
AM
GASPING
for
love
fainting
screaming
wanting
reeling
for
u
CAN U HEAR ME?
my eyes
send smoke signals
my heart
pumps morse code
my fingers
swirl a symphony
along ure spine
forget what ure past
says
the ink on the page
will fade
someday
u
waste
the here
& now
HOLD ME TIGHTER
pour me wine
don’t analyze
the degrees of my flesh
don’t scrutinize
the rise of my thighs
& why
i flush
& why
i die
& why
ure sighs
make me high
just
be
just
see
just
hear
just
FEEL
& seal the deal
w/ another kiss
until our lips
can not sense
time
closing in on us
how can u
misconstrue
my motives for u
as i sit here
straddling u
i can
justify
clarify
simplify
tantalize ure heart
w/ a dozen cards & poems
just
like
this one
BUT I CAN NOT FIGHT URE MIND
please
disconnect those wires
satisfy the desires
that lie between us

pull back the covers

heart
&
head
can never
be
lovers

where
did
u
come
from
i thought myself
numb
to this
possibility
are
u
loving
me
the way
i should
be
how can this be
feasible
be reasonable
i
don't
deserve
this
passion
ration ure portions
& serve them accordingly
to those
more
worthy
than me
please
don't do this to me
my belly aches
& trembles
ill
with the thrill
of ure
confections
the gooey glee
& gummy gibe
of ure supple sighs
as i ride the tides of my sensations
elations
indescribable
adulations
undeniable
undulations
uncontrollable
gripping into the seat of this
roller coaster
i bolster my face against ure chest
to rest
from asphyxiation
amazing
rock
paper
scissors
heart
on a dish
steaming
teeming
beaming
idolatry
into my very
lap
i am queasy
in ure
gentle
radiance
how can i eat this
how can i indulge in this
cuisine that bleeds
ure very
being

mmmm..
i have
never felt
so

satisfied

damaged
this
wounded fighter
ravaged
this
lone survivor
scarred
by the promise
of love
steadily
building her fortress
brick
by
brick
sick
from the smell
of her burning flesh
thick as sin
this
2nd skin
she's learning to grow
layer
by
layer
chameleon skinned
blending in
to every background
camouflaging herself
in a blanket of fear
no feel
no deal
no real emotion
can penetrate
alienate herself
from the rest of his world
his directives were clear
"pack up those tears
& head south"
fractured mouth
trying to remember
his kisses
now
she hisses
@ the thought of his body
stop the symphony
the imagery
of his thundering sighs
w/ her blundering thighs
awkward
beside him
he taught her the way
he liked to be swayed
patiently
before searing away her core
dutiful soldier
too pained to ignore
the smoke signals
above her
his lessons were heeded
& she has receded
defeated
into the darkness
to harness the bitterness
that will see her thru
the nites to come
shell shocked
eyes locked
onto the horizon
rising from the rubble
bursting the bubble
of her infantile dreams
overcompensate
retaliate
against the feelings
of loss
he was never
ures
to begin with
be content with
the bandwidth
replaying in ure head
he lulled u to sleep
before u could steal
his heart away